I’m feeling kinda out of it. Like, my whole life is an out of body experience. As if it were a movie.
I was supposed to take the trash out and I was staring out into the night. And then I was walking in the dark and walking and walking. Until I ended up at the lake. And I was just looking at it. And it was so black. Like there almost wasn’t anything there.
Like, I’m not here.
Teaming up with the National Center for Transgender Equality, Vocativ built a state-by-state map of transgender rights across the country. While we are making progress, there’s still a long way to go.
Click through for maps of hate crimes and school nondiscrimination policies.
Lately, I’ve been having such an amazing time no longer being in a long distance relationship. Sure, I miss my friends. I miss my family. But, one day, AJ will be my family. She will be my wife and we’ll have little kiddies running around making a mess out of everything that one day mommy and daddy will have to clean…
But we’ve been having television marathons. We’ve been helping each other with homework and motivating each other to do better. We’ve been cooking food together and carving pumpkins and on Thursday, we’ll be going to the Renaissance Faire.
It’s been more than amazing that instead of saying “goodbye” with tears, we say “goodbye” with the certainty that we’ll see each other later this week or the next.
I’m in love with this woman I moved to a different state for and took that leap to take care of myself completely. I have never been happier.
I really love not having to deal with long distance. It is so nice to see you every week rather than once a month. I enjoy watching shows together and I put more effort into school since you’ve moved. Speaking of cooking food together, your pancakes are in my fridge and my mom’s gonna say something about it soon. Carving pumpkins was so so much fun. I cannot wait for the Renaissance Faire.
I will always hate saying goodbye, at least now I know you’ll come back sooner rather than later. I am so in love with you and the fact that you’ve moved to another state and you’ve given up so much and you’ve taken on so much responsibility. It makes me so proud. I am so very proud to call you my boyfriend. You are an amazing man.
I love you with my whole heart.
You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew…I have to love this woman as much as I can, for as long as I can, and I can never stop loving her, not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5:00 a.m., Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon, through every speed bump. Every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came our way, I carried that lesson with me.
Last night, my boyfriend came over and taught me how to make pancakes from scratch. It was fun, but I was super stressed about school things. I’m a little better now. since I took care of things that are immediately due.
We are going to a pumpkin patch today and I am super excited. We’re gonna get pumpkins and carve them at my house. I can’t wait.
But first, I have to run to the store with my mother so we can return something. Gotta go!
It’s a Sunday. In nine hours I’ll go to church with my mother. You haven’t stepped into a church since the day you wedded the woman I call mom. I think I follow you in that aspect. Church isn’t my kind of thing. But I was wondering, daddy, if you still loved me?
Do you sometimes think of me as you fall asleep at night. A broken soul you let slip through your fingers. And I did. I slipped so far away. But maybe that was you. Considering you left to disappear across the united states. You left me behind and all I can think is that you never loved me.
You couldn’t have. I don’t even know if you ever told me you loved me. I can’t remember. I can’t remember your voice, or your eyes.
All I remember is you smelling of stale cigarettes and hard labor with calloused hands and a strong jaw. We used to watch wrestling together. The really fake kind, that always featured cheap metal chairs.
Do you even remember me? Or my birthday? Or the color of my eyes? Or my name?
How many daughters do you have drifting around the world cursing your name?
Did you ever love me? Because I can’t remember.